how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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