Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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