Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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