The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
