saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
