Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
