Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
