They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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