it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
