My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
