So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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