I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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