"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
