Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
