No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
