Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The air taste purple.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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