And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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