check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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