I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
