fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
