I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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