ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
