mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
