i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
