what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
