Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
