I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
