Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i love accidental penises.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
