It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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