Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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