How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
