She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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