i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
