North Korea, Best Korea!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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