she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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