Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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