i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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