Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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