That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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