TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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