Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
