He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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