I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
