Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
