you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You are a genius and a whore.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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