Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
