insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
