update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
