Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
