What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
