Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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