exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
