so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
