By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
