is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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