Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
false alarm. still invincible.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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